What I’ve learned

Living in Chicago, this is what I’ve learned...Living in Chicago, this is What I’ve Learned...

Bacon is so much more than a breakfast food.

For the love of God, when driving if there isn’t enough room on the other side of the intersection, then please don’t go through it. If you don’t make it through the light, guess what, it’ll change again in a minute or two.

First time home/condo buyers — beware the City Stamp Tax (aka Title Transfer Tax). This is a $7.50 tax per $1,000 of home value that you will pay at closing, and it is by far the biggest part of your closing cost. It may suck to pay, but its worth living here isn't it?

First time home/condo buyers — look into a program called Tax Smart. Tax Smart entitles first-time home buyers to a federal income tax credit (direct reduction of taxes due; this is different than deducting mortgage interest). You have to meet certain income requirements for different areas, but it could save you a couple thousand dollars.
— Mark Schwalenberg

Tourists and suburbanites are completely incapable of using escalators and revolving doors.

No matter how ridiculous the latest fashion trends are (ponchos, gaucho pants, knee-length shorts, etc.), girls in Lincoln Park will blindly follow them. Honestly, Elaine Benes’ Urban Sombrero could catch on here.

Ron Santo is perhaps the greatest source of unintentional comedy the world has to offer. Anyone who accidentally sets their toupee on fire and proceeds to laugh about it on the radio is alright by me.

Finding a cab on New Year’s Eve after the bars close is literally impossible. Coincidentally, NYE is always the coldest night of the year in Chicago. Not a winning combination.
— Matt Mohrlang

Chicago’s Pizza is the best for ordering late night and serves until 5 a.m.! Great thin and deep dish! And yes, we have tested that time and received pizza when the sun was coming up!

Pequod’s Pizza on Webster and Clyborn is the best pan pizza in the city! It is like a super Domino’s type if you like a little fluffy crust - YUMMY! It is currently getting remodeled, so it should be nice once complete!

Best jewelry shop or place to go for a fabulous, unique last-minute gal’s gift is Francesca’s on Halsted and Armitage. They specialize in unique, hand-made jewelry, and their prices are very reasonable for the quality! They also have clothes, purses, photo frames, etc. And my personal favorites are the girly napkins, magnets and pads of paper with hilarious sayings, such as “Some say the glass is half full, others say the glass is half empty, I say slam it down and decide later.” Words to truly live by!
— Heather Alejos

Top 10 Reasons People Smile in Chicago:
10. They are wasted from drinking and watching sports all day in a crummy, dark, smoke-filled bar, and they can't comprehend reality.
9. They just cut off another driver in traffic and got away with it.
8. WBEZ is on air.
7. They’re leaving town to anywhere else.
6. Their car wasn’t stolen by MS-13, it was stolen by the Chicago Police Department.
5. Mmmm. It smells like chocolate brownies by the river.
4. No line at Starbucks.
3. Spring actually happened this year.
2. Hey, everyone else is fat too. Guess that unused gym membership doesn’t matter so much after all.
1. Female Miami of Ohio grads can get frisky after a night of drinking at Kincade’s.
— Derek Meier

On any given Saturday night, it’s easy to find a girl in the bar who (although she is half your size) can drink you under the table easily.

Demand for Cubs tickets transcends rain, wind, hail, cold temperatures, their winning percentage and ticket price increases.
— Paul Banks

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