By Trent Modglin

Turtle races at Big Jim’s
Let me tell you something. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a 35-year-old woman with a beer in one hand, pumping her other fist and yelling, quite adamantly, for a turtle to run faster.

Well, you can see a whole lot of that type of thing if you venture up to Big Joe’s (1818 W. Foster), where the turtle, or I should say, a turtle, is guaranteed to win the race.

Let me set the stage for you: You order a drink at Big Joe’s, and when the bartenders give you the change from the cost of your round, they also give you tickets based on how many beverages you bought.

About every 30-45 minutes or so, a DJ of sorts jumps on the microphone and begins to corral everyone to the back room. He then draws ticket numbers out of a jar and announces the winners. But instead of looking to see if you won the 50/50 raffle at a high school football game, you’re looking to see if one of the turtles in the box is going to have your name on it.

They place the turtles, each with a number taped on its back — er, shell — under one of those clear cake covers on a big square piece of wood spread over a pool table. Then they play horse-racing trumpets, do a dramatic count down and let them loose.

Usually, two or three of the six turtles in the race bolt for the outside of the big circle painted on the wood, and three others barely move.

My turtle my friend Matt had selected for him stood in one place and never budged the entire time. But there are no losers in the turtle race, as everyone who has their ticket number called gets a free drink regardless of how their shelled friend does. The winner, I was told, gets their name placed in a drawing for a free trip of some kind.

It is rather entertaining, too, especially for first-timers. And rowdy, especially as the night wears on. So if you’re looking for something a little different to do on a Friday night, head north to Big Jim’s and watch the slowest race imaginable.



Get your Fixx

Looking for a new place for coffee to break away from the Starbucks’ corporate hold on America? Want to take your laptop and the Sunday paper to a modern, comfortable and quiet place on a rainy afternoon? Try The Fixx Coffee Bar at 3053 N. Sheffield, just a block and change south of the Vic Theatre.

You can sit at the bar, a table or one of the comfortable couches and indulge in an assortment of coffee combinations, teas and juices as well as sandwiches, salads and other snacks. The lighting is good, unlike a lot of other coffee shops in the city, and large windows overlooking Sheffield make it a good spot to people watch.

Free WiFi, video games like Pac-Man and Galaga and plenty of board games are available for entertainment, and live music featuring Calvin Marty and others is becoming more of a regular staple during the evenings.

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