Living in Chicago, this is what I’ve learned...Living in Chicago, this is What I’ve Learned...

People need to stop coming to Bears games dressed as the Blues Brothers. It’s a very tired cliché, and that movie came out in 1980. It’s almost as bad as the constant reminders of the 1985 Bears, when this year’s model is pretty good itself. Unless you’re one of the Coreys, there is no reason to keep living in the ’80s. It’s time to move on, people.

We need a better ambassador of our city than Jim Belushi. Every time the Bears get good enough to get national exposure, he shows up as our celebrity representative. Our fan base is not a bunch of overrated and untalented blue-collar slobs. This man does not represent us.

Da Mare needs to do something about getting rid of those terrible ninth-rate wannabe salsa and R&B musicians who set up shop in the Washington and Jackson Red/Blue Line stations.

— Paul Banks

Always feel the seat before sitting down on an El train or a bus.

The kids who sell M&Ms for their basketball team on Michigan Avenue really don’t play basketball. Don’t feel guilty about not buying any.

The cheese on the famous charbroiled cheddar burgers at the Weiner’s Circle is not really cheese – it’s a mixture of cheese powder and water. You MUST be drunk to eat one of these.

— Chris Condon

The Bears suck when it comes to playing the Dolphins.

— Bob Graczyk

45 degrees in October feels much differently than 45 degrees in March. In October, you bundle up in misery. In March, you venture outside to enjoy the “warm” weather.

Bored during winter? Try cosmic bowling through the Chicago Sport & Social Club or Monster. It’s a great way to meet new people, watch music videos, try to bowl and take your mind off winter for a few hours.

Another fun winter activity — check out Whirlyball on Fullerton. You get to drive around in bumper cars, smash into your friends and throw a ball at two different goals using a lacrosse-type racket. They also have laser-tag, games and a full bar. Check it out.

— Mark Schwalenberg

Cesar’s, the “Home of the Killer Margaritas,” really has about the best frozen margaritas I have ever had. Careful though, as drinking two of the largest ones may result in you blacking out... not that I know from experience or anything. They are table Nazis, though, and encourage you to take your drinks with you to the bar immediately after you finish eating.

When arriving at a bar, always start the night off with a good beer. After a few of those, if Miller or Bud is significantly cheaper, move on to those. You are doing your taste buds a serious disservice drinking Miller or Budweiser the whole night. College is over!

When did buying a $4 cup of coffee become acceptible? Let’s do some math. $4 a day times five days a week is $20 per week. $20 per week times four weeks in a month is $80 per month. $80 per month times 12 months is $960 per year. On coffee.

If you wear your winter coat to a bar to meet your friends, place your coat on the back of a chair and offer your friends a convenient place to set theirs, right on top of yours. That way, if a coat gets stolen, it won’t be yours because it’s at the bottom of the pile.

Never, under any circumstances, feed pigeons. There is nothing sane about purchasing seed at a pet store, walking into a park or stopping near an empty lot and throwing a pound of bird seed at a bunch of flying rats. Saving bread from a restaurant to later feed pigeons also means you are insane.

— Mike Florczak

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