Writer’s block

Ladies only

Understating the importance of a girls’ night out would be a huge mistake

By Karin Kane

For years now, I’ve noticed how my boyfriend-now-husband will come home after a long night out with the guys with absolutely no news or gossip to report. He is totally unable to answer the most basic questions, things like “How’s Jim?” or “Is Marcus still seeing that girl?” even after he’s spent hours out with these guys.

Even worse, when I ask what they did talk about, he has absolutely no answer. So I started tagging along and, finally, it all became clear.

Amazingly, guys really don’t seem to talk much about any the interesting and useful stuff that makes up their lives. They generally remain mute on their jobs, their feelings, their families and sometimes even their relationships. Instead, they fill their conversational gaps with talk of strange television shows like “The World’s Strongest Man,” and they have competitions to see who can recite the best scenes and quotes from “The Simpsons” (“Poor, predictable Bart. Always chooses rock.”). Obviously, there’s a lot of talk about girls, but they never get into the really good stuff, about what she might be thinking about — actually, they never seem to even realize she might think. And, of course, there’s a lot of talk about sports. Now we all know there’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re living in Chicago, at least this year, you’re going to be a football fan by default (and if you live on the Southside, you have to be a baseball fan too; Northsiders are excused). But occasionally, you begin to wonder if perhaps there’s something missing.

A recent dinner conversation at Flat Top with my husband, Tony, and two guy friends, Mark and Mike, epitomized the difference between a night out with men and women. Mark mentioned something about how he’d lost his wallet, and Tony recommended looking on eBay for a new one. He’d found a great Coach wallet on the site for just a few dollars. I was delighted — first, because he’d finally learned about Coach (and might eventually learn that a Coach bag would be a great gift for his wife) and second, because finally we were talking about something besides the girls sitting two tables over. Mark then mentioned, “I can see going to Coach if you’re getting a handbag…” and the other two guys started giggling. Why? Because “Mark said ‘handbag.’ ”

And that’s when it became clear. Girls don’t giggle about words like “handbag.” Girls don’t write slang terms for body parts on their ID stick at Flat Top. In fact, girls don’t even go to Flat Top, not when Rise is only a few blocks away. Girls don’t laugh at you for ordering a pink Pomegranate martini. Instead, they give you credit for drinking all those anti-oxidants. It was time for a girls’ night out.

A good girls’ night out isn’t easy to come by, especially because I’m not referring to those nights when you go out with all your single girlfriends with the goal of meeting guys. That’s not a girls’ night; that’s a “let’s meet guys so we don’t have to hang around with girls” night.

The girls’ night I’m talking about are the great nights when you’re able to find some time to get together with your equally-busy girlfriends to relax, chat and have a good time. Good girls’ nights are a break from the endless oddities of a relationship (sure, you love him, but why is he watching “The Godfather” again or wearing the same ratty t-shirt you’re sure you threw away a year ago?). Girls’ nights give you some time to decompress, where you don’t have to explain why you’re ordering cheese dishes for both a starter and a dessert, or why you chose to wear three-inch heels that you can’t quite walk in.

Even if you love watching sports and would rather visit the Huettenbar than the Nail Bar, a quality girls’ night is still essential. How else are you going to find out where to get those amazing shoes, get some sympathy for your recent bad haircut or figure out where to buy that bottle of OPI’s Lincoln Park after Dark that every single store seems to be out of?

And, just in case any guy is actually still reading this article, girls’ nights out are probably nothing like you’re imagining. We’re not sitting around a table discussing male genitalia, a la Sonny Corleone’s wife in “The Godfather” (which, despite popular opinion, really can be overplayed). Our chats don’t even always center around Tom and Katie (though some of them do). They’re really more about catching up with each other. Best of all, there’s a lot of wonderful things to do, places to go and movies to see that are perfect for your next gathering.

Recently, a group of friends organized a Monday-night trip to see “The Holiday,” a cheerful Jude Law, Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet and Jack Black movie that, I suspect, will be playing through the holidays. Jude Law’s portrayal of a sensitive, funny boyfriend made it ideal for any girls’ night.

Of course, it’s important to leave time for chatting, so visit a place like Volo or Randolph Wine Cellar for some cozy fun and tasty drinks. And if you’re more ambitious, some ingenious places now do the double duty for enterprising girls: Pubs like O’Donovan’s offer manicures and martinis, while The Chopping Block teaches you knife skills and sauce-making while you chat.

Have fun out there!

Click here for more Writer's Block