What I’ve learned

Living in Chicago, this is What I’ve Learned...

I have learned that Chicago has the best beef sandwiches in the world. Whether it’s a Mr. Beef, Johnny’s Beef, Al’s Beef or Portillo’s — Chicago has it all. As a matter of fact, so good that a cooler full of Portillo’s rode shotgun all the way to Georgia with me to visit family who onced lived in Chicago. They were almost as happy to see us!
— Jesse Alejos

If you’re like me and your girlfriend likes to party until the break of dawn, but you prefer to come home at a decent time — like 2 or 3 — here’s a little trick: Tell her about a place you know that’s open late. Just put the word “Club” in front of your house number. Like Club 920. Once she realizes you’re actually going home, it’s too late. And you never actually lied.

While running on the sidewalk, be very careful of cars shooting out of alleys. If you drive out of the alley, watch out for joggers. Slow down because people with IPods on can’t hear you honking.

If you’re looking to buy scalped tickets for a Cubs game, go to Murphy’s, wait until the second inning and then really lowball any scalpers still out peddling. Faced with eating the tickets, they will part with them for less than face value.
— Pete Sullivan

“Snow route” means really don’t park there overnight after Dec. 1 (unless you want to get towed), even when there is no snow and it is 60 degrees.

For all the money they make, Chicago impound offices should not be housed in mobile trailers from 1987.
— Michelle Seagraves

I have learned that there is a reason I avoid the Blue line at all costs.
— Eric Edholm

For all you single guys, not much hits home harder for a girl than being single on Valentine’s Day. With that said, the bars are usually overflowing with these aggressive predators searching for their “Valentine.” Enjoy this once-a-year phenomenon.

You’re never too close to a restaurant to have your food delivered, especially after a hard night out at the bars.
— Mark Schwalenberg

A $40 12-speed Schwinn dating from the early 1980s (purchased on Craig’s list) is the fastest, cheapest and most convenient way of getting around town. Don’t forget to tie a milk crate on the back for the utimate in transportation efficiency and coolness factor.
— Dan Miller

No matter how the Bears’ QB plays, there will always be a large group of meatheads out there who want Kyle Orton to start again.

People believe in the “Bear weather” myth even though most recent facts and records disprove the idea.

Every group of people you hit the bars with has that one guy who can stay out until 5 a.m. and still be chipper and bright-eyed at 8 a.m. the next morning. These people must be destroyed.
Even the lamest, most anti-scene drinking establishment you can think of will still have a $75-plus package deal going on for New Year’s Eve.
— Paul Banks

If you’re first in line at a stop light and hit the gas right when it turns green, there’s a 90 percent chance you will hit another car in the intersection.

You can work for Unicef and not see more sharing than you do at a Bears’ tailgating party. Need ketchup, wanna try these ribs, how ’bout some of that lighter fluid? Whatever you want, it’s yours.
— Trent Modglin

You can find a great food or drink special any night of the week at metromix.com under bars and clubs deals/dining deals.

Tuesdays are $5 movie night at City North. This includes parking, one movie ticket and one kid’s size popcorn. You can’t beat that!

The Empty Bottle has free shows every week. Check them out! It’s one of the best places to see live music!
— Sara Vinson

Got something to contribute to What I’ve Learned? Send it to info@TheRealChicago.org. It better be good.

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