Time to let loose

Before taking the plunge, we offer up some advice on planning that bachelor or bachelorette party this summer

By Karin Kane

It’s that time of year again. You know what I mean. That time, usually in late spring and early summer, when you start to see them everywhere. Over-served, slightly hysterical girls wearing candy-covered t-shirts and polyester veils stumbling out of the city’s tackier bars. Or large groups of guys ordering too many shots with names like “porn star,” “orgasm” or “buttery nipple” and a few others that can’t be printed in this paper.

That’s right, it’s that time of year again — bachelor and bachelorette party season. And you need to be prepared. Clearly, there’s a way to plan a fun night out properly — and many ways not to.

It’s a hard time for everyone. The bride-and-groom-to-be are going through all the usual pre-wedding jitters, dealing with the amazing stress of choosing between roses, peonies or hyacinths for the centerpieces, and between mauve and lilac napkin rings. Meanwhile, you’re realizing that your best friend, your buddy, the guy you could always count on to pick the right teams or know where the hottest girls are (or, if you’re a girl, the friend you could always count on to lend you her best shoes or to skip the gym to watch “Grey’s Anatomy” and drink wine with you) is gone. They’re getting married and moving away from the single life.

And now it’s up to you to help them, to provide support and, most importantly, to send them off to their new life in style.

But what do you do, especially if you’re new to the city, asks Ted McHugh, who just moved to Chicago from New York, or if your friend’s party is the first you’ve had to plan?

To find out, we polled the best sources: our friends, our co-workers and some random people sitting in bars watching the NCAA tournament — in other words, people just like you who have experienced, planned and lived through (barely) some of the best bachelor and bachelorette parties this city’s ever seen.

We asked them what to do, what not to do and where to go, to make sure you’ll go down in history as the best party planner ever.

(Note: Some names have been changed to protect identities.)

Things you should do, or know:
Ask the bride what sort of party she wants. Nobody wants to be stuck at Bar Chicago wearing a Lifesaver t-shirt when her idea of a perfect bachelorette party is a martini, pedicure and night at Narcisse. (Guys, of course, don’t care what you do as long as there are girls involved). — Katie

Make sure the first person the stripper dances with is the father-in-law. That way, nobody gets in trouble. — Mike

Plan ahead. Popular places fill up, and it’s worth calling ahead to make a reservation if you can. Ending up at “the bar down the block” is a major letdown. — Kristen

Do ask what the prospective spouse will be comfortable with. Sometimes, secrets get shared, and you don’t want to be the reason for the wedding getting called off. Or at least if you do something stupid, don’t tell. — Pete

Do hit the Baton Club (for bachelorette parties). It is a drag show located at 436 N. Clark. I have been there for several parties. Bring lots of $1 bills. Dick’s Last Resort is a fun place for dinner. — Jenny

Do ride the bull.— Vince

Bar crawls on Rush and Division are always a good time, especially since the older men that hang out in the “Viagra Triangle” are happy to buy you drinks.— Jenny

Make up a t-shirt, one with a sketch of the bachelor with a ball and chain or something else cliché. Then, on the bar tour, have women write advice or anything crude or funny that they feel like writing on the shirt. It becomes a keepsake. More importantly, since it is a guy’s night, it gets the whole bachelor party involved with women throughout the night. The women come to sign a shirt and then hang and flirt with the group a bit — all in a clean and fun way (unless you’re single). — Dan

Get the whole group involved. A bachelor or bachelorette party has friends coming from work, high school, new city friends, in-laws and cousins, so it’s important to get the cliques uniting over one cause, like getting girls to sign a shirt. — Paul

Offer a couple of events. The groom’s 12-year-old brother may want to join the fun, but there’s no way little Mikey is getting into the strip clubs. Make sure there’s enough flexibility so that everyone, even your friend’s non-drinking, very religious co-worker, can enjoy at least a part of the fun. If necessary, break the night up into several parts — start with golf, or dinner and drinking, and go from there. — John

Get a trolley for your bar tour — then you can holler out the window at people. — Paul

Dress up. What better excuse will you have for wearing a ’70s leisure suit or ball gown (for the girls only, please)? — Rob

Lap dances are always a good idea. — Rachel

The best part of my bachelorette party was getting groped while dancing with fine-looking gay men at Roscoe’s. What would have seemed totally inappropriate at a straight bar seemed almost innocent at a gay bar. Straight men could do well there preying on the unsuspecting bachelorette. — Sara

Hit some of the stores along Halsted or Broadway, like Batteries Not Included, for some pre-party supplies. If you’re getting ready at someone’s house, or even in a hotel room, it’s always fun to have anatomically correct candles and maybe a game of “Pin The Penis.” The Treasure Chest on Lincoln is also good for fun supplies. — Julie

A good meal or round of golf is always a good way to start off a bachelor party. And know that the stripper is never as attractive as she looked on the Website.— Trevor

Get out of town, especially if you want to make sure you don’t see ANYONE you know. Vegas, New Orleans, Montreal, Vancouver and Tiajuana are all good places to go. — Mark

 

Things you shouldn’t do:
Don’t plan the party for the night before the wedding, or even the week before. The couple will be busy with last-minute preparations and, if you’re planning a wild party, there will need to be some “make-up” time. — Michelle

Don’t let a buddy who is completely whipped plan the festivities. We spent my entire party “accidentally” bumping into his girlfriend. — Brian

Don’t throw a surprise party. Nobody deserves to be “surprised” with a night of debauchery when they have an 8 a.m. meeting with their minister the next day. — Matt

Don’t throw a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. I actually know of a couple who had their bachelor and bachelorette parties simultaneously, and the result was just as boring and blah as you might have predicted. — Paul

Make sure you don’t happen to land up at the same bar as your future spouse. The events should be totally separate. — Jennifer

Don’t get a stripper for a bachelorette party. The guys are always skanky, their acts are cheesy and you have to drink a lot before you can get into it. — Jen

Don’t skimp by asking a girl friend to be the stripper. It’s always, always a bad idea. — Jeff

Don’t ask, don’t tell. A note to all ladies: Suck-for-a-buck can be more offensive than what goes on at any Chicago strip club. However, if your man gets a mail-order stripper? That makes suck-for-a-buck look like a Sunday school game. Your man has stories, but he’s sworn to silence, so don’t ask. — Dan

Don’t rent the white limo, unless you’re from Schaumburg. Even if you’re seriously into tacky, at least spring for the white Hummer-zine. And black cars would be better. — Kim

NEVER, EVER take pictures! — Ryan

Don’t go overboard with costs of different events. Keep in mind that what is affordable to some may be expensive for others. — Luke

Don’t bring friends who don’t know the rest of the party. They always seem to start fights. — Mike

Don’t pass out if there’s still a prosititue in the room. Odds are, she’ll steal stuff, and it’s not easy getting your stuff back from a pimp. — Steven

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