Answers to your dating questions from comedian Ian Coburn, author of the ever-popular “God is a Woman: Dating Disasters”

Be warned: Ian’s not your mom, and he’ll tell it like it is! Send your questions to info@TheRealChicago.org or www.godisawoman.net and check out all the great book reviews on Amazon. “God is a Woman” is available at bookstores and all online booksellers.

Q: The last two guys I’ve dated never wanted to make a decision on anything, like where to eat, what to do, what time to leave, etc. Is this the new-age man who wants to let us make all the decisions?
— Beth

A: Stop dating saps! I’ll help; we’re getting together next Thursday at 8 p.m. We’re going to a seafood restaurant, and you will have the salmon with a baked potato. After dinner, we’ll ... All right, I guess the other extreme sucks, too, eh? There is, to my knowledge, no new-age man decision to make women make all the decisions, although it has been awhile since I’ve been to the meetings. You just dated some sappy guys, which I’m guessing is a big part of the reason you’re not dating them anymore.

Q: I was at a White Sox game the other day with my girlfriend of about six months, and I couldn’t stop noticing this beautiful woman in front of us who kept standing up. Do you think most men feel guilty at some point when it comes to still looking at other women?
— Evan

A: You should only feel guilty if she was standing up because you kept pinching her. Is that what was really going on? You couldn’t resist her cute butt, so you kept pinching her to get her to stand up so you could get another look? Who cares what I think about whether men feel guilty about looking at other women? That’s between the man and his conscious. Some guys feel guilty, some don’t, and some don’t gawk at other women when they’re out with their girlfriend. If you find yourself glancing at another woman more than a few times when you’re out with your girlfriend, you may need to examine whether you really want to be with her or not. It’s plain rude to check out another woman that much in front of your girlfriend. It’s okay to notice another woman once or twice, but you describe it as though you couldn’t take your eyes off her. That’s a problem.

Q: Is there ever a good time to explain to your significant other that you want them to change their techniques in bed?
— Anonymous Guy

A: She’s too rough for you, huh? You’ve got a lot of bruises your friends are asking about? Bumps from the headboard? Suggest trying something new in bed — or getting out of bed altogether. Once you’re there, you can make some suggestions. Tell her how much you like it. Suggest it again the next time you have sex. It will work its way into the routine. This is a smooth, non-hurtful way to breach the subject.

Q: My boyfriend goes fishing with his buddies every weekend. It’s getting very annoying. What should I do?
— Nancy

Come over to my place on the weekends. Please mail a photo of yourself to me first, though. And remember, postage is now 41 cents. Or drain the lake where he fishes. Or kill his friends. Or — and this is probably the most outlandish suggestion of the bunch — talk to your boyfriend! Explain that it’s bothering you and why. Keep me posted on what he says; if nothing changes, we’ll go from there.