Answers to your dating questions from comedian Ian Coburn, author of the ever-popular “God is a Woman: Dating Disasters”

Be warned: Ian’s not your mom, and he’ll tell it like it is! Send your questions to info@TheRealChicago.org or www.godisawoman.net and check out all the great book reviews on Amazon. “God is a Woman” is available at bookstores and all online booksellers.

Q: Is romance dead? Honestly, in my past three relationships, it seems like it is.

— Brenda, Lincoln Square

A: Yes. Well, actually, it all depends on who you date. If your man isn’t at least a little romantic on the first few dates, he probably won’t ever be. If your guy started out romantic and then faded, there’s nothing stopping you from leading by example. Bring him breakfast in bed. Pack a picnic. Go on a paddle boat at the Lincoln Park Zoo. Add a candle to any of these events to enhance the romance.

Q: There is this girl who I’m attracted to, but I find her personality to be abrasive at times. We’re talking bipolar type of stuff. How can I let her know I favor her “nice” side a lot more, or is it even worth it, knowing what the other half is like?

— Marcus, Lincoln Park

A: Sorry, dude. You have to date both sides. You can’t just say, “Have your nice side call me for dinner some time.” Only you can decide whether she’s worth the hassle. Maybe she’s abrasive because you haven’t asked her out. Ask her out and see what she says. If it’s a “yes,” see who shows up for the date — Dr. Jekyll or Ms. Hydette.

Q: My husband has changed since we got married a year ago. He doesn’t like to go out anymore, unless it’s with the guys to watch football or play cards. He’s happy to just sit at home. I have to beg him to come to dinner with other couples once a month. What do you think is the best way to bring this up, or should I get used to flying solo socially for the next 40 years?

— Annie, Lakeview

A: Annie, how long did you date the hubby before you tied the knot? It could be that, early on, he went out just to woo you, and going out is not really in his blood. Ask him why he used to like to go out and why he doesn’t now. Tell him you still want to go out. Surprise him on certain anniversaries by making dates for those places. For example, on the anniversary of your first kiss, take him to where you kissed. Use this: “It’s a special anniversary, and we have to go, don’t you remember?” (If you don’t remember the exact dates of your first date, first kiss, first time, and so forth, don’t worry; he doesn’t either, so he won’t question the validity.)

Q: An old college flame e-mailed me recently to let me know she’s going to be in town and wants to see me. For a while, I thought she was “the one.” Now, I’m in a committed relationship, which has been good. But I would like to see her. How do I deal with this? Do I tell my girlfriend, knowing she could be upset?

— S.T.

A: I love it when a reader answers his own question; I don’t have to do anything! You’re in a “committed relationship, which has been good.” If it’s so good, why do you want to see your ex? If it’s so good, why are you afraid to tell her about your ex? Christmas is coming soon, are you planning on being naughty? It sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. If you just want to see your ex to catch up and reminisce, that’s easy enough. Tell your girlfriend you want to see your ex for dinner and then want to get together with her afterward. She won’t have any fun going with you and watching you and your ex catch up, and she will feel better knowing you will be in her bed that night. Now, if you want someone to give you permission to cheat, you came to the wrong place. If you don’t want to be in a committed relationship, don’t be in one. Give your ex my e-mail address, and I’ll jump on the grenade for you. I’m a giver.