Answers to your dating questions from comedian Ian Coburn, author of the ever-popular "God is a Woman: Dating Disasters”

Be warned: Ian’s not your mom, and he’ll tell it like it is! Send your questions to info@TheRealChicago.org or www.godisawoman.net and check out all the great book reviews on Amazon. “God is a Woman” is available at bookstores and all online booksellers.

Q: Do you think there is an issue when a woman you're dating doesn't like to do anything but sit on the couch and watch TV? Normally, I would just think she's lazy and dump her, but she's really active in her life that doesn't include me. What gives? It's not like a social misfit or some troll she can't take out in public.
— David, 27
A: It depends on whether she likes to sit there naked or fully clothed… Sorry Ace, but there’s no way around this one; you’re going to have to ask her. If she’s really active in her life but doesn’t include you, she may very well not see you beyond a ride, so she figures why introduce you to other areas of her life? Or she may be seeing other people. There might even be a guy in that active life she likes, and you are just killing time for her until she can snag him.

Q: Is buying a woman a drink from across the bar still something that can work? You see it in old movies, but not very often in the bar.
— L.T., 30
A: L-A-M-E. That’s what I think of buying a woman a drink from across the bar. And, unless she is an admirer of old movies, it won’t work. Fortunately for people who are too chicken shit to approach a woman, instead preferring to use a bartender as a go-between, there is an even better safety net, where the women welcome such a weak approach — online dating. Buying a woman a drink from across the bar? Really, why not just pass one of her friends a note to hand her with a box that says, “Like me? Check Y or N.”

Q: My husband has these little quirks that I don't remember him having when we were dating, and they're starting to drive me nuts. I know he's the right one for me, but I don't know how to handle it because he doesn't handle complaints all that well and I hate sounding like I'm nagging. Help a wife out.
— T.S., 34
A: T.S., hard to answer without knowing the quirks. If I knew the quirks, I could give you some specific suggestions. Try reverse psychology. Ask him if there’s anything you do that gets on his nerves. Better yet, pay attention to your own quirks, and be specific. “Does it bother you when I tap my teeth with my index finger? I just realized I’ve been doing that a lot.”

Q: I'm 31 years old, and I've never been able to talk openly about sex with a boyfriend. I don't know why because I'm otherwise pretty open with conversation. Is there a way to get past this?
— Amy D., 31
A: Talk about sex during sex. Tell him what you want in the heat of the moment. Once you’ve done that a few times, you’ll find it easier to bring up the subject outside the bedroom… or taxi or bus, or wherever it is you have sex. Really, it’s not that hard. The first time you bring it up will break the ice. Once that ice is broken, it’s easy to discuss sex. You’ll learn guys are pretty eager to talk about sex, especially since talking about it usually leads to it.

Q: I'm seeing this girl, and it's only been a few weeks. I'm really into her, but I can't stop the late-night hookups with a former fling. In your experience, is this a clear sign I'm not ready for a relationship, or just one of the things that makes college interesting?
— Tom, 21
A: Have you been “really into her” (the new girl), yet? If not, the late-night hookups may very well end once that has happened. If you have been, it’s probably not a sign that you’re not ready for a relationship but rather a sign that you don’t want one. You want to have your cake and eat it, too. College is a great place to do that. Just remember, she probably has some of her own late-night hookups going as well. If you have a problem with that, then you’ll have to make a decision to be committed.

The Real Chicago is proud to announce Ian Coburn now has a column with Lifetime entitled “Ask A Guy.” You can send questions to him there, too. If the column does well, he’ll receive a publishing deal to write his next book, “50 Things You Didn't Know About Every Guy.”
Visit Ian at www.mylifetime.com by clicking “relationships” then scrolling down to “Ask A Guy.” Leave your comments! And of course, keep sending questions to Ian here at info@TheRealChicago.org. Not every question gets answered on Lifetime due to the volume of questions asked.